& my world will be coloured.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Love ,

I never know I had caused such unhappiness to you.. Few months ago , things weren't stable for me.. I kept tearing because of small little things.. Now that I'm okay, and you aren't.. I was wrong all the while.. I thought you were as happy as me.. Never did I knew that you were not exactly what I assume.. If you never post such things on our blog, I didn't know that you were suffering there.. The last time I cried for you was 1month plus ago, however, I teared once again today.. Whenever I hear you cry, I know I broke your heart again.. I once told myself that I would NEVER let belovedd cry again, but I failed to do so. TODAY, this moment..
I'm such a failure, a failure that makes my love cry over and over again.. I'm sorry for so much unhappiness...

The post you wrote actually hurt me deeply, DON'T say sorry... The feeling is terrible, a knife stabbing through my heart.. Unbearable pain.. I...

As what you mentioned in the post, "I'm gonna make you suffer?" I was just kidding, never did I know you took it so seriously.. Will I ever let my boy suffer? Will I? To state the fact, letting you suffer = stabbing a knife through my heart.. So will I ever let you suffer and get myself so hurt ? WILL I ?!

You said that you are like talking to yourself on that blog? Should I delete this blog then? I really hate to see you saying that.. Hurt me again.. DON'T say sorry...

Vesak Day, your mom tagged along.. I don't mind.. I couldn't reject her.. She asked me.. "Can I go too?" What if I said no? What will she think of me? I don't want her to have bad impression on me, can?

I'm very happy to see you getting an urgent leave just for me... Thank you love.. I appreciate it, alot alot..

I'm sorry, couldn't be with you when you are having a headache.. Sorry.. I want you be with you when you needed me most, but I couldn't.. Sighs..

Planned to buy ring yesterday right ? You said you don't have enough cash with you.. Didn't know that you wanted to use NETS. What I knew was, you said that there'll be extra charge, and I thought you wanted to buy another day.. So I said that.. It's not that I don't want it yesterday.. I wanted it very much, you know? I was sad too, when I said that we can get it next time.. But what can I do? I don't want you to... You cried on the bus.. I didn't know.. All the while I thought you were having headache.. Cause you said so.. and you didn't deny.. Fine, I'm hurt once again.. Lied to me again..

I wanted you to be happy very much.. I thought that these few days you were as happy as me.. But you weren't.. Your first unhappy feeling started on May19.. I only get to know it on May25.. 6days later.. Oh great, I'm such a girlfriend to you.. Hahas.. I told myself that I MUST NOT hurt you anymore.. But I failed to do so.. Sometimes I thought, Will I ever make you smile again? Can I make you happy again? Sorry for all the unhappiness caused.. Really sorry..

如果有一天，不幸的事发生了。。我愿意用我的性命换取你的。。原因浅浅，因为我爱你。。

我能再看见你的笑容吗？

♥ June wrote this @ 10:18 PM